True words??

Just come back from the whole church combine prayer meeting...It was a great night and I could really feel the holy spirit presence tonight.Tonight one of the pastor call all the leaders to come to the front and want to pray for us.When I hear this calling,I trying to stop myself to go infront. I don't deserve to be a leader,caused I always told my members that we must have enough love and always speak truth to all your friends and I am not doing that.I looked back to the past,I actually never been saying a single true word in one of my friends life. I always thought silent can help to change a person,but I am totally wrong.And because of that I lost a best brother in my life......